Wednesday, October 6, 2010

We are all really the same person

One of the major things that I've learned while wedding planning and mainly while wedding that we are all pretty much the same person. The similarities between wedding journeys is uncanny. We see the same posts written over and over from different perspectives. Yeah, sometimes its redundant. But sometimes it needs to be redundant.

We all worry about how our weddings are going to look (is it too WIC!? is it too Indie!?) We all try to have a wedding that is 'creative' and 'unique' (or as the Knot puts it so bluntly, 'wowing our guests') We all fret over our dress, shoes, accessories, hair, and makeup. We all consider whitening our teeth. We all put ourselves down about our weight and worry that we won't look good enough. We all worry about people having a good time at the wedding and enjoying themselves. We all cry and freak out at some point (more likely many points).

All this to say that our wedding journeys are uncannily alike and follow that very familiar arch of "I'm gonna do this thing! YEAH!" to "um...maybe tomorrow.." to "WTF, MY LIST IS EATING ME ALIVE!" We check out the WIC world, get freaked out, rebel, find blog land, give a big sigh of relief, and then settle in to the work of making the wedding happen.

And I love that this community is here to help us work it out. But the other major thing that blog land has done for me is to make me realize how similar we all are and how I'm not alone. And that is invaluable.

Its been major for me to stop judging myself, because come on, thats kinda what it all is. We are worried about other people judging us but if we weren't first judging ourselves it wouldn't matter what other people thought.

And we all want to fit in and feel 'normal' and blog land has made me see that (crazy as it is) freaking out about a wedding, no matter how 'practical' you try to in fact normal.

So ease up, gal.


  1. You hit the nail on the head. I've read a lot of other people's posts that I could have written (some that I did). It really helps to read that your journey is not unique and that there are other people maneuvering this minefield too. The advice and comradery is invaluable for sure.

  2. Thank you for this post. It made me smile.

  3. i totally agreed with the 2 comments above. thanks for this, we all need this reality check every so often

  4. "You are not alone" is such a simple and yet powerfully reassuring message. It's so easy to forget that. Thank you :)

  5. For sure...I had that experience recently for the first time directly with Sarah from My SF Budget Wedding - we both wrote a post on taking his last soon as I hit publish...I visited her site, and I was all: Oh no! She's gonna think I posted this in "retaliation" to hers or something!

    It's true how similar the journey is...but I think the blogging brides that I've talked to at least...are different from the "average" bride. There's a journey that you go through when you are trying to have a meaningful, authentic ceremony...rather than having a coordinator make you a cookie-cutter wedding...because I've watched the wedding planning journey on some "average" couples and it's not so much like this...

  6. this post is being saved in my bookmarks both in the office and at home. i'm going to back now and again when i need it. thank you!

  7. seriously.

    it's so cathartic to let it out, be understood and not feel alone.