Better by the hour

There was the moment after the wedding where I asked myself the big question: Was it worth it?

And then I sat there baffled. I couldn't answer it! Part of me remembered the eight months of craziness, stress, crying, fights with the beau, anger, frustration, etc. Then there is the matter of spending eight months of my time planning for one day. Then there is the intense matter of spending thousands of dollars on said single day. Was it worth it!? How can all that be worth one day!?

But it was more than just that one day. All that time spent planning gave me more than just a wedding. It gave me those lessons learned about us as a couple, about me as an individual, about what family means to us, about how much I like spending time with my mom and wish I saw her more, about what great friends I have who are willing to go out of their way and spend many of their own hours on "just one day" for me, and so on. And I thought about how much the process has changed me and how much fun some of it was.

I still haven't quite worked out my answer to that question...but I'm working on it. And I have a feeling it may not be a simple yes or no answer. Me and simple just don't get along like that. But me and complicated? We're best buds.

One thing I have noticed, though, is that I definitely like the wedding best after its over. Specifically a week or two since its been over. The slight tinges of regret or disappointment that I felt right after are slowly fading away and starting to matter less and less. My love of our ceremony and the time spent up there holding his hands is starting to matter more and more.