I'm still trying to figure out what I think of our wedding. I can't contain it in any neat little statements. I can't say it was all one thing or another. Because it was pretty much everything. Perfect and disappointment together. And I think thats just the way weddings roll. (Did I mention that weddings are crazy? Because they really are.)
But I did learn a lot from planning and executing a wedding. Some of these things came as quite a surprise...ok, most of them!
- I improved my decision making ability. Really, I was so indecisive at the beginning it was crazy! But at the end, I was all big bang BOOM, decided! One of my bridesmaids told me I was scary on the day of because she would come ask me a question, I'd stare at her for a second while I thought it out, and then say yes or no. Simple. Done. Next! (I may also have had a crazed look on my face that morning. I'm going to call it the 'determination face'.) I'm suspicious that a large part of this improvement in decision making has also come from the improvements I made in living with a decision once its done. Learning that sometimes you just gotta pick something and it does have to be perfect. (See Barry Schwartz on choices. One of my new favorite theories that I'm trying to apply heavily to my life.)
- Some people, no matter what, won't dance. So don't try to make them. I learned how to host a party and not get all bothered about whether or not people are having a good time. I had a good time. I provided the opportunity for them to have a good time. If they didn't, I'm not going to let that rest on my shoulders.
- I learned how to be bitchy and stand my ground and not back down and all that jazz. But I also learned to negotiate better (especially with certain difficult family members). And in the end, I think our relationships are better for it. Partially because we worked through some things and partially just because we can now go back to normal life and not have to deal with BIG issues anymore! Yay, avoidance!
- I learned that large amounts of money are really tough to spend. But that once its gone...I can't say I miss it. Yeah, I could do lots of things with those thousands of dollars. But I spent it on a wedding. Money is money and that's all.
- The wedding bought out the best in some and the mediocre in others (luckily we didn't have to deal with the worst of anybody!). It made me really grateful for those who really came through for us. (and I want to give an extra special should out to Ski Bum Bridesmaid! I know you're stalking! Hi!) It also put my tolerance for dramatic, pessimistic, insincere people at an all time low. Life is too short for that! I want to surround myself with people who are happy, positive, sincere and who make my life better.
- It made me see what I want in my future. I want those friends and family in my life who mean the most. I want to be surrounded by happy, uplifting people who know how to have a good time. I want to be a happy and uplifting person for others. I want to create a community with all these good people! I want to commit to my choices and not look back! I want to lose stress, worry, anxiety, self esteem issues, and live life!