Thursday, March 11, 2010

Deciding whats important

We are less than six months out from our wedding (EEEK!) and have most of the major decisions done (venue, officiant, caterer, photographer). And we are now moving on to the details of our wedding that in the end will (hopefully!) make it feel personal and feel like us. This is the point where I need to reign in all the ideas that have been floating around, nail them down, and commit to them. I'm trying to make sure that I focus on things that will be important the day of and let go of the things that in the end won't really matter. But how do we know which is which?

I've come to realize the importance of things in many different ways - sometimes intentionally, but mostly in a completely random, roundabout way.

On the intentional side: The Mister and I have done lots of discussing and negotiating to pull out what is important to us. And I have found the (sane) blogs helpful by just noticing what I like in the photos or discussions - and as has been said before, its the smiles and love radiating from the photos that makes them amazing! So that's, great, cuz smiles are free! yay!

But mainly its random when I find out if something is important or not. And this is where it gets messy. Cuz this is the drama of mixed opinions and too much input on what sort of attire or music or cake or whatever to have. And that's when you have to take time to figure out whether to stick up to your guns - is it really that important to you? or compromise - is it really that important to them? Argue...I mean, discussions can help here too or it can help to just picture the day of with or without that certain element. Would you be sad? Disappointed? Not give a rats butt?

Or I like to play a little game my friend taught me. (It works best if you can teach this game to your partner, and they can spring it on you.) For whatever the decision, leave it to a coin toss. Assign heads/tails - flip - and see what the results are. If cupcakes win and you feel a sigh of relief inside, then nix the five tier professionally baked cake! Its really just a way to force your brain to decide which side of the fence its on and you can feel the relief or disappointment in a certain decision almost immediately. But as noted, it does work best if someone else can spring it on you and try to be serious about it - better to fool your brain with.

Then. I have to make a decision and be done. No rethinking. And when you find out how to do this, please fill me in!

1 comment:

  1. So hard! We are two months away, and I still second guess things. Who we invited, what our invites look like, vendors.

    I think I may have done somethings differently, like rookie mistakes. More surrounding how I've interacted with my family and making a point to share more information about the wedding planning with them.

    I think it's natural to spend some time wondering if you made the right choice, as there are LOTS of big expensive decisions being made, but you do have to let it go. I do like the coin flipping trick!

    ps. thanks for stopping by!