First, I have to say that I am extremely lucky and have only mild drama compared to tales from other brides. My parents have been mostly understanding and agreeable and the in-laws have been only mildly crazy and hair-pull-inducing. But there has still been drama and tears and frustration and considerations of eloping.
I find it very challenging to figure out what I want, what I like, what has meaning for me, etc while at the same time negotiating everyone's opinion that is being thrown at me. This has led to lots of fumbling and renegotiating and difficult discussions. And it takes that fumbling and those discussions for me to learn what is important to me and really find out why I'm making the decisions I'm making. Sometimes it turns out my decision was mostly random...sometimes I find out its because something really was important to me. And from there, a constructive decision making process can continue. But it can get messy before that!
This is also where I've been finding out what is important to other people (aka parents), and I'm guessing they go through a lot of the same process. They don't have everything figured out either, and their decisions are a mixture of randomness, emotions, WIC pressure, tradition, preference, etc too.
Wedding planning is a great lesson in patience. In negotiation skills. In communicating with your partner. In working with your partner. And lots of other life and marriage skills that will definitely be used in the future.
Yay for growing as people and as a couple!